6 mos. pregnant and seeking divorce. Husband deported but calls many times a day. We've talked about breaking up before but he's the type that doesn't understand 'no'. I feel guilty for not answering the phone and feel obligated to at least let him know that baby is okay. I'm totally stressed and in deep depression. Seeing therapist and psychiatrist. One says avoid calls and try to keep myself stressfree,and to make a decision when I am comfortable. The other says avoiding the calls is a form of running away and every week she asks me if I have decided what I am going to say. There is some ';caring'; left, but no LOVE. I can't think of a single reason to stay with this person (I'm still trying to work with therapist to see why I didn't realize this b4 preg...) How can I cope without feeling guilty?? Have decided to divorce because I can not deal with his mental illness(I don't want to elaborate).Pregnant,breaking up,stressed out. How to cope?
if hes mentally ill theen he doesn't need to be around th baby 24/7. it seems as if hes putting you through unnecessary drama. f you've already tried to explain to him many of time how you feel and that you no longer want to be married then maybe something is wrong with him. you're doing what best for your family, you and your baby.Pregnant,breaking up,stressed out. How to cope?
Then don't stay with him. If there is no love, then there is no relationship. You would sit down and plan your future. Now there will 2 of you. You are anyway not dependent on him for money, so get out now! You have right to be happy and seek happiness for your child. Only get the legality's clear. Make it clean break.
good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.
I don't know what your beliefs/feelings are about Christianity, but whenever I am going through something that I can't deal with or don't want to deal with on my own, I pray. The Lord hears and answers your prayers, he also comforts you through your situation, so instead of paying people to listen to your problems -therapist/psychiatrist- God's help is free of charge, in fact that is what he wants, for us to lean on him in our times of need. So, try Jesus!
Right now you need to rest and not let anything harm you or your baby. That being said, it is time for some tough love...
When you said I do, you promised to be there ';in sickness and in health';. And mental Illness is a sickness. Maybe it is because you are pregnant that you feel so overwhelmed.
Remember that therapists and psychiatrists are only human and they don't have all of the answers, they just want to be all up in your business. If all else fails, please pray about this situation.
Til death do you part. I think he should be the one seeking a therapist for his illness. You should talk with him, he is not one that does not understand no, he is one that cares about you and your child.
REMEMBER! So many people are getting divorsed because they don't feel passionate, this is not love. Love is taking care of someone whether they are a vegetable or a romancing Fabio! Try to think about what brought you together in the first place. Everyone has a bad pat of their personality, and marriage means you vowed to work though it.
You obvisouly cared about this person enough to bring a child into this world with him, and you say you still care and I think you still love. You hormones are messed up girl, give it time. He's calling so he obviously wants to work things out. I can't tell you if you should leave because of his illness because I don't know how easy or difficult it is to deal with. But I promise working though things will only make you closer and be more rewarding (like a puzzle) in the end. I might suggest a journal or writing to each other so you can read what you can handle. Tell him to write a journal too because you are stressing.
Good luck girl and take a long bath, stress can cause miscarriages so relax. Find your true friends and they'll help you in time of troubles! Sending love and care to a fellow woman with man troubles!
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