How can I help my ex come to terms and cope with our break up?

My boyfriend and I broke up recently, after being together for over a year. He's my been my best friend before, during and still after our relationship.





Unfortunately, he's taking the break-up a lot harder than I am, as its me that didn't want the relationship to go on any longer, and also because it was a long-distant relationship.





I'm still going to be there for him, and we both can't lose our friendship, it means so much.





This is the first time this has happened to me, so I don't know how I can be there for him as a friend, even though we have that history behind us. He's going to look at me, hear my voice, and it will remind him of us and what was.





I don't know if this makes any difference, but he's in his early 20's and I'm almost 20.How can I help my ex come to terms and cope with our break up?
You should give him some space to breathe first and come to terms with it on his own with out your help or support , that would only make him confused and you have to be clear with him when ever he asks you something .You have to be firm with him and he will love you more as a friend in the end .How can I help my ex come to terms and cope with our break up?
In a perfect world it would be wonderful to stay friends with an ex, but in reality it's almost impossible unless both wanted it to end. You are right that by talking to you he will relive what you had and suffer. Time will take care of this. Eventually he will see that you want nothing more than a friendship and he will either accept this or not. You are soft hearted and hate to hurt him, of course, but try to wean him slowly from his dependability on you.
Give him some time apart from you. He needs it to grieve and recover -- and to ';get it';.





If you know any eligible single interested ladies in his area, you can also try to pass him off.
He will get over you. He will find someone else then you will be eventually out of his life as he gets more involved with her.
read the book Rebuilding and there is a tape series with it about rebuilding when y6our relationships end.
hay!!! stay away from him ....he needs time... and who know.. maybe after not taklin to him.... you might come up for some feelings for himmm.... and things would work oput. in a good way. all the best
I know you want to stay friends but this rarely works in reality.





You are the one who instigated the break up, you are choosing to live this way, and you can't force him to be friends just to ease YOUR conscience.





I have an ex boyfriend [if you could call it that] who was in the same position as your ex. He had been dumped a few months earlier by someone he truly loved, and she tried to stay friends with him while me and him were trying to make our relationship happen.





All that happened was that she kept getting in my face, and he got upset and frustrated, and he actually asked me once ';do you think I still have a chance with her?'; This is while ME AND HIM WERE GOING OUT!!





It ended nastily with me and him in the end as he truly thought that she wanted him back (she didn't) so he was unable to move on and find someone else.





That was 2 years ago and as far as I know he is STILL waiting for her to come back to him! All because she wanted to stay friends with him, and it was the last thing he needed. They were close friends from their own home countries as well BTW, so not just BF and GF.
You know why he cant get over you....





Becuase there is no closure in this. You are both still friends and because you are still there for him and being so nice and friendly he is holding on to that fact an hoping you are going to love him again an get back together.





You NEEEEEEEEEEEED closure and you both need no contact i swear that is the FIRST rule of a breakup! No contact until he is over you. I'm sorry to say but you cant be friends anymore, that went out the window when you started the serious relationship in the beggining your friendship is over, an when you both realise that the sooner he can move on xxxxxxxx
You can't expect to just switch from being in a relationship to being friends. i'm afraid you may have to sacrifice the friendship. it is unrealistic of you to expect things to immediately revert to how they were.





He is going to feel angry towards you for ending the relationship, he may be given false hope if you continue to be in contact with him as a friend and then he may feel angry that you expect to still have his friendship when you've upset him so much.





you do need some time apart without contact, for his sake, maybe agree on a set period of time, which should be at least a few months.





Then if you did have a good friendship and he has moved on maybe you could be friends again. Sounds great in theory but in reality hardly ever works.